New Year, New Season

Goeie middag! (Good afternoon in Afrikaans),

Have you had time to purchase my book, Why? If not, I urge you to do so. You will not regret it. I had a wonderful book launch in my small town of De Doorns in South Africa and I am so thankful for wonderful feedback so far.

Many readers have found revelation, insight and knowledge about trauma and the consequence of that. Many had “ahaa” moments and others had instant relief, knowing that they are not alone.

It is not easy to speak about our pasts and not easy to speak about a weakness, like addiction, no matter what the addictions are.

My readers mentioned that they could not put the book down once they started and others had to read it in phases. For some it was a mirror of their own life and therefor had to stop and process the truth or the denial that they might have lived in. Either way once you have read Why you will surely see life a bit different. Maybe you will do different and the result hopefully is to be different.

Making changes and building new pathways is challenging work, but the reward is well worth it. One thing I have also learned is healing and recovery is much easier when you are not alone. Having friends and family that loves you is crucial to healing. You cannot recover from trauma or any abuse and simultaneously live in chaos. Keep away from dysfunctional and toxic relationships.

I have days where I feel I can conquer the world and other days I still feel I cannot walk another step with the load I am carrying. The key to this ebb and flow if life, is to never give up.

And rest.

When your feet are tired, rest.

When your feet are strong, run.

But learn to listen to your body as it speaks. Listen to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, He is our Helper.

When I have the energy to run, I plan and create my next book. Yes, I have a few up my sleeve. I am working on a parenting book, hopefully my lovely husband will be my co-author. My thoughts are towards a “how” book. But I do not want to say to much. For now, I need to get my first book in more hands so that more lives can be transformed.

And that my friend, I have come to learn, is no easy task. Marketing of a brand-new book.

So, when you find yourself in a relationship where you believe your friend needs help, please bless them, and buy why for them!

I recently have found myself writing poetry, something I did when I was younger to express my sadness. I am no professional writer; I write as I am lead and straight from my heart. I am hoping to create a few, that speaks truth with emotion and are full of meaning.

I have included it in this blog post. Unfortunately, it is in Afrikaans. My mind is freer to express myself in my own language. I do not think it is worth translating it.

Thank you for sharing my life with me, friend.

Until next time,


n Dag in ‘n seerkry kind se lewe

‘n Dag in ‘n seerkry kind se lewe
So lank het ek gewonder
Wat is fout met my?
Niemand het lank genoeg stil gestaan by my en gesê: NIKS

Is dit net ek wat bang voel?
Is dit net ek wat vrees vir die dag van more?
Verbouereerd, angstig, nat gesweet, stil en in afwagtig…
Wat gaan vandag met my gebeur?

So lank het ek gewonder
Wat is fout met my?
My hart spring uit my bors, my maag tol in die rondte, my tone steek soos naalde, my hande nat
Elke taak is ‘n berg

Elke nuwe dag lyk soos gloeiende brand woude om my
Gevaar is ‘n tree weg
Te moeg om te hardloop, te moeg om die vlamme te blus, keer ek maar met my eie stem
“Jy is weird Carmen, dis wat fout is”

Wat is fout met jou?
Saggies hoor ek haar stem
Niks wat ek uiter of skree maak haar stil
“Bly stil JY. JY wat my tuister!”

So lank het ek gewonder
Wat is fout met my?
Niemand het my geantwoord, ek het niks verstaan. Geen oplossings gekry.
Net vrees het terug geskreeu

Hoekom agtervolg jy my?
My soggens martel, my laatmiddag kom pynig
Tog is my dag vol mense, geliefdes, vriende
Snags gaan slaap ek alleen, stoksiel alleen

“Bly stil JY! JY wat my tuister!”
Wat is fout met my?
Sy het my nooit gelos
As ek wakker word was sy daar
As ek weggehardloop het was sy om die draai
“Dis Jy Jy Jy! Jy is ‘n fout!”

Die afdruk van my seer was te groot
My las soos ‘n vrag lood
Jaar in en jaar uit.
“Jy Jy Jy Carmen!”
Wat is fout met my?

Elke dag het jy my belas met daai vraag
Tot ‘n vroeg, warm somer oggend
Waar die voëls vroeër op is as ek en in al hul glorie en majesteit my wakker gesels…
“Daar is NIKS fout met jou nie”

Jesus se stem was kragtiger as al die aantuigings, leuns, pyn en hartseer wat in my oor gefluister is.
“Daar is niks fout met jou nie, Carmen.”
Finish en klaar.

Carmen Watt

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